Eric 2003-2004 Eric used to say "I need don't want" instead of "I don't want". This started about two years ago and eventually morphed into "I want don't want" before morphing back into "I need don't want". At some point along the line he started placing great emphasis on the "WANT" when he was upset, throwing a fit or very serious about not wanting something (this made him almost sound like a teenager). He eventually quit saying it altogether about a year ago.
Eric Sometime between January and June 2005 While putting a load of laundry into the dryer, I took the lint from the previous load and threw it into the toilet. As I flushed it, Eric watched the ball of lint go down and, looking at me with a look of sympathy, said, "Oh no...there goes your vagina."
Eric July or August 2005 After church one Sunday afternoon Katie and Brigham were both napping while I ate lunch (macaroni and cheese) with Eric. When I asked him what he had learned in primary he told me a few things about the Holy Ghost. As I pressed him for details he told me that the Holy Ghost makes us feel good (this occurred several months previous to the quote on 13 November). I agreed with him and said that he can make us feel happy in our hearts. When I asked him where his heart was, he pointed to his chest. After a moment of silence he then asked, "and is my heart all dirty with macaroni?"
Brigham 5 August 2005 One afternoon while Eric and Brigham were playing on the living room floor, Katie and I overhead Brigham getting upset about something (apparently Eric had taken a toy from him or was tormenting him in some way). After a moment we heard Brigham say in his broken, methodical way, "Ewk [Eric]...I'm going....to break...you...in...half...and...eat...you."
Eric September 2005 "Mama, when I'm a big daddy I can swim in the ocean by myself and I won't be scared. And then I can go to my big school and do 'ecomomics'."
Eric September 2005 In response to being told he couldn't have any of my cake, as he'd already had too much, he said "Let me just have a little smell."
Eric 9 September 2005 Eric told me, "Mama, I want a baby 'stister'". "You do?" I asked. "Oh, is a 'stister' a girl?" "Yes," I answered. "Oh, I want a baby brother."
Eric 15 September 2005 While eating chocolate chips Eric said, "Chocolate chips have spirits. Okay?"
Eric 24 September 2005 Before bed, I poured some Pedialite into Eric's and Brigham's sippy-cups (Brigham had been sick). Wondering if Eric's claim that it tastes like Gatorade was true, I took a sip from the bottle. Eric said, "Daddy, don't drink the sick-juice...you might get Briggie's germs." I replied, pointing at his cup, "You might get his germs too." He furrowed his brow and said very seriously, "I already have Briggie's germs!"
Eric 24 September 2005 As I put some cream on Brigham's diaper rash, Eric, who had been inspecting the infected area, took a moment to give Brigham an anatomy lesson: "These things behind your penis are called (emphasizing each syllable very clearly) 'tex-i-cals'...little balls." I then asked him, "What are they called, Eric?" "'Tex-i-cals', Daddy, 'tex-i-cals'."
Eric 24 September 2005 While at Lowe's, I was trying to find a long measuring tape for measuring our property. When I came across a measuring wheel (just a little wheel on a stick that measures distance) I got a bit excited and pulled it out to give it a try. Eric was immediately curious and asked what it was. As I tried it out, I muttered something to him about how I could use it to measure how many feet I had walked. He and Brigham proceeded to play with two of the devices while I looked at some less expensive measures. A few minutes later he approached me and asked, "Daddy, this will tell me how many feets I have?".
Eric 24 September 2005 After I put the boys down for bed, Brigham had requested a ball that he had thrown in the bushes outside the front door. Not able to find it, but finding a toad instead, I walked into the dark bedroom and handed the 'ball' to Brigham. He started to reach into my hand, touched it a couple of times, then got a very surprised look on his face - the only thing he could say was, "Oh!". Both were quite excited to have a toad on their bed (they were sharing a double bed since they didn't have their bunks yet). When I took the toad away after several minutes, it peed on my hand and the carpet. After I tossed it out the front door, Eric asked, "Daddy, where does toad pee come from?" I told him I didn't know, but it probably had a little hole for it. He then said, "Oh, it's not like us because we pee out of our penises." I asked, "What about Mama?" "She doesn't have a penis," he replied. "What does she pee out of?" I asked. "Her vagina." "So, Mama pees out of a hole too," I said. He responded, "Oh, so mama pees like a toad."
Eric 25 September 2005 Before his bath, Eric asked how many wheels a car has. We counted them. I then asked how many feet a dog has and we determined it was the same number as wheels on a car. "But how many feet does Captain have?" I asked (referring to my childhood dog, living with my parents). "Oh, he only has three because one of them broke off while he was still in Grammie's tummy."
Brigham Previous to November 2005 Until a few weeks ago, Brigham called "Eric" "Ewk".
Brigham 13 November 2005 Coming home from church, Eric told us about his primary class and that he had learned that the Holy Ghost makes our hearts feel good. By the time we had gotten home, Brigham had morphed this little teaching into "the Holy Ghost makes my horsie good".
Eric Roughly 21 November 2005 As I was working in the office, Eric woke up and asked me where Brigham was. Brigham, who had woken up a couple of hours earlier, due to a bad dream, was sleeping with Katie in our bed, so I told him that I thought he was in my room. Eric then proceeded to look for something under the futon (in the office). Not sure what he was looking for, I went back to my work. After a minute he asked again, "But Daddy, where's Briggie?". I explained again that he was in my bedroom. Eric then looked in the bathroom and came back to the office and looked under the futon, after which I realized that he might be looking for Brigham. When I assured him that Brigham wasn't under the futon but in my bed, Eric insisted that he was close by. I then realized that he could hear Brigham snoring, and that it was so loud that Eric was convinced Brigham was much closer than my bedroom!
Eric Roughly 21 November 2005 While I was finishing an assignment in the office, Eric was talking with me and remembering a trip to the Oregon coast with my family (Mom, Dad and Erica's family), approximately a year previous. After a minute he said, "Sometimes I want to get an ocean right next to our house."
Eric 28 November 2005 and before Eric often says "sliffery" instead of "slippery".
Eric and Brigham 28 November 2005 and before Eric and Brigham both call "moths" "mops". This is probably because of their mother's obsession with mopping the kitchen floor!
Eric December 2005 and before Eric always says "would you" instead of "do you". In reality, the "would you" sounds more like "woogya" or "oogya". So he often asks questions of the sort, "Briggie, woogya want to play cars with me?".
Eric December 2005 "Mama, when I'm a big Daddy I'm going to have an iPod, a computer and a guitar."
Eric 3 December 2005 While Katie was out running, I made some breakfast for myself but none for the boys since she was going to take them to a pancake breakfast for the primary, at the church. While I was eating and the boys were playing in the living room, I overheard Eric say to Brigham, "Briggie, you're not going to go to the party because you might bother me and whine at me while I'm talking to my friends. So you're going to stay here with Daddy." Brigham, unoffended, just grunted some sort of consent.
Brigham 6 December 2005 As I was dressing Brigham for bed, he told me, "I smell like a MONSTER!".
Eric 6 December 2005 At dinner Katie was telling me about one of Eric's Christmas requests: a baby. When he overhead us talking about it, he reiterated the request. So I took a moment to explain that if we had a baby, it would require a lot of attention - that mama and daddy would have to spend a lot of time helping the baby and that Eric might be sad because we wouldn't have as much time to help and play with him. He then asked very seriously, "But could we put the baby down for a nap?". Katie laughed and he continued, "And then you could play with me while the baby is asleep?".
Eric December 2005 I was putting a load of laundry into the dryer and took the lint from the previous load and threw it in the toilet. As I flushed it, Eric watched the ball go down, looked at me in sympathy and said, "Oh no...there goes your vagina."
Brigham January 2006 Brigham said to me from the back seat, "Mama, I don't have a mole...but when I'm bigger I will have one....and you will, and Eric will, and Daddy will!" (referring to Daddy's mole on his chin).
Eric 12 January 2006 I took Eric to school this morning in pajama pants. He didn't want to get out of the car and groaned at me in his characteristic way when I came around to open the door. I asked him what was wrong and he replied "You're wearing your P.J.s!" Guess I embarrassed him.
Brigham 12 January 2006 Brigham walked into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower, looked at me for a minute and asked, "Mama, where is your penis?" I said, "I don't have one." He responded, "Oh, did it fall off?" I said, "No, I'm a girl and girls don't have have penises." He looked at me skeptically and after a moment he said, pointing to my belly button, "I think it's in there!"
Brigham 3 February 2006 When asked by Daddy "are you a Brigham?", Brigham responded, "No, I'm a turducken."
Brigham 3 February 2006 As I was getting out of the shower,Brigham looked at me for a minute and then said, "Where's your penis Mama?" When I told him I didn't have one, he said "Oh, did it fall off?" Several weeks later while being bathed he told Eric, "Daddy, Mama will have a penis when she gets bigger."
Brigham 14 February 2006 Eric had been acting badly while playing outside, so I took him into the office for a time-out. After crying for several minutes, he calmed and stared at me for some time (he was lying on the futon looking at my face). Finally he asked, "Why do our eyes move? Because our heads can move." When I pressed him for details, he demonstrated how his neck sufficed to allow him to look in different directions and that eye movement was unnecessary!
Brigham Early March While riding in the car, Brigham said, "What if I turned into a whale? That would be cool."
Brigham 19 March 2006 While driving home from a friend's house, I explained the rising and setting of the sun to the boys (Brigham had confused dusk with morning). After a detailed explanation I asked, "Isn't it cool that the sun moves across the sky every day? Did you guys know that?" When both of them replied in the affirmative I said, "Then I guess you guys are just too smart." Eric asked, "Smart?" "Yes," I answered. After a brief pause Brigham interjected, "But not you Daddy."
Eric 19 March 2006 Earlier in the evening Eric and Brigham had seen a friend of ours, Jason Huffman, dressed in his police uniform - gun, handcuffs and all. When we arrived home, Eric was telling his mother about the experience and asked, "Why do police men have guns?" I explained that they need them for protection from bad people that might try to hurt them. He then asked (revealing the true reason for his question), "But why do they don't have light savers?" (meaning, light sabers).
Brigham Mid March 2006 When Eric woke up screaming in the early hours of the morning, I climbed his bunk to comfort him. After he calmed, I climbed down the ladder and saw Brigham wide awake. As I reached over to give him a kiss, he looked at me with his big brown eyes and said, "Daddy, I will stay wiff Eric."
Eric 6 April 2006 When asking for something and being told by Mama to 'wait just a minute', Eric responded, "Okay...your 'just-a-minutes' don't take very long, but Daddy's do."
Eric 6 April 2006 "Mama, do you Poop?" "Yes, honey." "But usually girls don't poop?"
Eric 9 May 2006 While we were all driving in the car, Eric philosophized (as he often does in the car), "Mama, if there was a sky in heaven, there would be another heaven."
Brigham 11 May 2006 On his birthday, Brigham woke up to find a large cellophane balloon floating in his bedroom. After he proudly exited the bedroom and showed it to me, I asked, "Where did it come from? How did it get there?" He responded, "Maybe it popped out of the ceiling!"
Eric 11 May 2006 While Katie and the boys were driving in the car, Eric asked, "Mama, how many people are there?" Since they were driving to Brigham's birthday party, Katie responded, "You mean at Brigham's party? Probably about 20." A bit frustrated, Eric answered, "No! In our world!".
Eric 14 May 2006 (Mother's Day) During breakfast I asked Eric if he wanted to see a picture of Katie on her first mothers' day. When he responded affirmatively, I pointed to a framed picture on the wall - a picture of Katie holding Eric during Duke's graduation, on the front page of the Durham Herald. After discussing how she had graduated on her first mothers' day I then told the boys that Brigham had been born on her second mothers' day. "And what happened on her third mothers' day?" Eric asked. "Probably something less noteworthy," I responded. He got excited and replied, "I know....you?" "You mean, I was born?" I asked. "Yeah!".
Eric 20 May 2006 When Katie and I went out on a date, we left the boys at a friend's house. Apparently, at some point in the evening, Eric audibly passed gas. Brian, the father of their friend, asked, "Eric, what was that?" He thought for a minute, "Ummm...Ummm...Ummm," then looked up at the ceiling and said, "Maybe it was thunder."
Eric 28 June 2006 I had just come home from a church meeting and running some errands and leaned over Eric, who was lying on my bed. He asked, "Daddy, do you need to take a shower?" I responded, "Why, do I smell?", to which he answered, "You smell like a skunk!" (In my defense, he had JUST seen DreamWorks' 'Over the Hedge' (featuring a skunk) several days before!!)
Eric 11 July 2006 While driving to Maple View Farm for ice cream, Katie and I were explaining to the boys that ice cream comes from cows; that is, it's made when milk, cream and sugar are stirred together. Eric then asked, "But...how do the cows stir it up?"
Eric 17 July 2006 Trying to convince me to watch some bike racing (the 14th stage of the 2006 Tour de France) and meeting resistance from me (because I needed to mow the lawn), Eric said, "Daddy, you're spoiled up with bike racing!"
Eric 28 July 2006 While driving in the car at night, gazing at the moon, Eric said, "I didn't know the moon could do magic. It's doing magic because it's not moving in the sky but we can still see it while we're driving."
Eric 28 July 2006 At Circuit City, Daddy and the boys paid a brief visit to the home theater room where Peter Jackson's King Kong was in the DVD player. Not quite sure about the movie, I let the boys watch a few minutes from one of the final scenes: Kong on top of the Empire State building, warding off several planes that are trying to gun him down. After getting into the car to drive home, I was wondering if it had been a bad idea to let the boys watch the scene when Eric asked (referring to a moment when Kong grabbed the wing of one plane and threw it into another, sending both planes falling to the ground), "Daddy, when that monkey grabbed the plane, I don't know why he didn't just grab the man out and eat him."
Brigham Late July 2006 One morning while the boys were racing each other to see who could eat breakfast faster, Brigham declared, "Eric, I beat you AND you beat me....does that make sense?"
Brigham Mid August 2006 While driving in the car, Katie was passionately discussing an issue. After a few minutes Brigham told me to keep my mouth closed. Finally, after opening it several times and being chastised by him, I asked why he didn't want me to open my mouth. "Because I don't want you to show your teeth to Mama." I asked his reason, to which he responded, "Because Mama is saying bad words to you."
Brigham 20 August 2006 After telling Brigham to go play with his friends in his bedroom (Eric and another friend that was visiting), he said, "But Eric's not my friend...he's just a guy that lives here."
Brigham 30 August 2006 At breakfast, "Eric, I know a good idea...I'll lick you and then you lick me!"
Eric 2 September 2006 While at the store, Brigham and I had bought flowers for Mama. Upon seeing the flowers, Eric asked, "Why did you buy flowers for Mama?" "To make her happy," I answered. He paused for a moment and then said, "So that she won't get mad at you?"
Eric 2 September 2006 Eric's picture was in the local paper after running in a kids race on the beach at his Gran's house. When he saw himself in the picture, mid-stride, he said "But that's not what my legs looked like?" I said, "What did you think they looked like?" and he said, earnestly, "Like little wheels." (Guess he's watched The Incredibles one too many times.)
Eric 12 October 2006 While getting ready for bed, Eric asked, "When we're spirits will we have tails?" I replied, "Why do you ask?". His answer: "Because I want to be like a lizard."
Eric 17 October 2006 "Mama, what kind of animals live on the east pole?"
Brigham November 2006 We were driving somewhere and I hadn't had time to dry my hair before we left. The boys wanted their windows down, and my hair was blowing all over the place. I overheard Brigham turn to Eric and say "Her hair is getting wild." Then, "She needs to go to the zoo."
Brigham November 2006 While driving in the car, I asked Eric to help Brigham put on his seat-belt. He complained that he ALWAYS has to help Brigham, and I explained to him that when they got bigger, he and Brigham would be the same size and Brigham might help him when he needed it. Brigham chimed in "Yeah, but only a little bit, because I might get tired of it."
Brigham January 2007 While getting ready for the day, Brigham was explaining to me the relationships between various Star Wars characters. He told me "Princess Leia is Luke's girlfriend, Mama." I asked, "What's a girlfriend?" and Brigham said "she's just a part of your family." I then asked Brigham if he had a girlfriend and he said, "Yes! You!" Made my day:).
Eric January 2006 While driving home from preschool, the boys asked me if they could have some Doritos with their lunches. I told them we'd have to see if Daddy had eaten them all. Eric replied, "Mama, Daddy just eats EVERYTHING!"
Brigham 31 January 2007 When asked who he thought Gran was going to marry, Brigham answered, "I know! Great Gran!"
Eric 31 January 2007 Eric's response when told that his grandmother was getting married: "You mean she's not married?" Me: "No." Eric: "So, she's a teenager?"
Brigham 19 February 2007 Upon emerging from his room after a nap, Brigham held out one of his toy airplanes to me and said, "Mama, do you know how the propeller works?" He showed me how he had taken the plane apart to see how it worked. I said, "Good job figuring that out, Brig." He answered, "I did my best."
Brigham 23 March 2007 I was telling Brigham to hurry up and finish going to the bathroom (we were in a stinky port-a-potty) and he said, "I think there's a little holder inside my bottom, holding the poop. And when I poop, he just pinches off a little piece and drops it into the potty!"
Brigham 25 March 2007 I was explaining to the boys about a man at church who had a kidney stone and Brig said, "I will be brave if I have one of those in my penis when I grow up!"
Brigham 2 April 2007 While driving home from school, the boys' friend, Lauren, interrupted Briggie to tell me something. When she was done, I asked, "What did you want to tell me Brigham?" He got upset because he couldn't remember and said, "Lauren, you're messing up my mind!"
Eric 6 April 2007 While dying Easter eggs, Eric asked, "Can I dive an egg Mama?" I said, "Sure, but it's dye, not dive." He replied, "Oh...but they go under the water."
Brigham 6 May 2007 About an hour after we caught two lizards on our front porch (a larger one, with a red head, and a smaller one) we noticed that the larger lizard was biting the smaller one's neck. Brigham, later reassured me, while we were driving to a friend's house, "Don't worry Daddy - if you were a lizard, I would not let a red headed lizard eat you up."
Eric 6 May 2007 After catching two lizards on our front porch and throwing them into a box, we discovered the larger of the two biting on the smaller lizard's neck. I was nervous that it might eat the smaller lizard, but after some observation I discovered that they were mating. I let the boys watch and explained that they were trying to make baby lizards. A couple of hours later, Eric explained to his friend, "The boy lizard was biting the girl lizard's neck so that he could help her to have babies." Absolutely intuitive, isn't it?.
Eric 12 July 2007 When Katie told Eric that she wanted him to take a nap because he was extremely tired, he responded, "But you don't know how tired I am because you're not me; you only know how tired YOU are!"
Eric 27 July 2007 While watching one of the final stages of the 2007 Tour de France (keep in mind that we'd been watching the race every day for about 3 weeks by this point), Eric asked if the bike racers were real. I thought I understood what he was asking, but wanting him to express his question more clearly, I asked, "What do you mean?" He responded, "I mean, are they just characters on t.v. or something?"
Brigham 18 September 2007 Eric was sad that his class fish had died, and I tried to comfort him by telling him that it was in fish heaven. Brigham thought for a moment and asked, "Is there a fish Jesus there?"
Eric 1 November 2007 Brigham was telling me about a nightmare he'd had that night. He thought he remembered me coming in to comfort him, but Eric set him straight... "No Briggie, Daddy is always the nighttime helper!"
Eric 3 November 2007 While looking at the Duke football field, Eric said, "Daddy, I didn't know that grass growed blue and white."
Brigham January 2008 While visiting friends who had just had their second child, Katie was suggesting to their older son that being an older brother is fun. Mama: "Being an older is fun, huh, Eric?"
Brigham: "Well, I don't think so. I think being a little brother is more fun."
Mama: "Oh, yeah? Why is that?"
Brigham: "Because you don't have to be so mean."
Eric and Brigham January 2008 On occasion, Katie will buy Lucky Charms for dessert, however, she generally picks all of the marshmallow out and leaves the remaining cereal for the rest of us to eat. One Sunday morning, she offered them to the boys as a special breakfast. Mama: "Would you guys like Lucky charms for Breakfast?"
Eric and Brigham: "Yeah!"
Brigham: "Do they have marshmallows in them?"
Mama: "Yes."
Eric and Brigham: "Yeah!!!!!!"
Brigham 1 March 2008 Brigham, always devising interesting theories in order to rationalize the world from his perspective, said to Mama, "I know why you grew up faster than us, Mama. Because you got pregnant, and then you got pregnant again. Getting pregnant makes you grow faster."
Brigham 21 August 2008 Brigham: "Don't worry, I just put Eric's clothes in the 'dirties'."
Mama: "Good job, Briggie! That was so nice."
Brigham: "It was no problem - it was just like putting my own clothes away!"
Brigham 14 October 2009 Brigham was talking about his primary teacher, Brother Rider. M: "Do you know he had a baby? B: "Oh, Sister Rider had her baby?" M: "Yep, she did." B: "Did they...you know (wiggles eyebrows up and down)...I'm not trying to be funny, but did they, you know..........do the sex?" (with an embarrassed smile) M: "Yes Brigham, they did." B: (laughing) "I can't believe I'm going to have to do that when I grow up!" M: "Well you don't have to, but you might want to if you want to have a baby." B: "Oh, I think I'll want to!" M: "Do you have any questions about that Briggie?" B: "Nooooo...Daddy told us AAALLLL about it!."
Brigham 21 October 2009 Driving home after getting a flu shot, Brigham said, "It just feels like a ball of meat rolling around in my arm."
Brigham 17 November 2009 Explaining that Christopher Columbus thought he had found India, and hence called the natives 'Indians', Brigham said, "But he really found America, and that's why we call them 'Nate of Americans'."