Zombies Overtake Department

01 April 2010 12:00AM

In a sneak attack this morning, a group of ravenous zombies overtook the department of economics for a short time, entering faculty offices and creating mayhem in the halls.

Professor Ed Tower, unfazed, was seen smacking one unfortunate zombie on the head with his newest working paper, while the frightened EcoTeach staff threw their office candy to the zombies to distract them.

Speculation arose that perhaps these zombies were rejected graduate school applicants who felt they had been discriminated against. The zombies did not speak intelligibly to respond to an inquiry regarding the reason for their presence.

"They were everywhere!" exclaimed MA Director Charlie Becker, who barely escaped with his life. "I feared I was going to lose all the students waiting outside my door to talk with me."

Fortunately there were no serious injuries as the wily economics students evaded the zombies fairly easily. To the rescue came EMAC, who rounded up the living dead and corralled them into Room 327, where they are being forced to complete econometrics problem sets until they expire. Should they complete they problem sets alive, they will be asked to practice job market talks which should finish them off.

Should you find any wayward zombies in the halls today, please contact the brave staff in 213 immediately at 919-APR-FOOL.

For those interested in further learning, research supports the aggressive attack by EMAC in the paper "When Zombie's Attack: Mathematical Modeling of An Outbreak of Zombie Infection."