Freedom to Fail: Applying Past Failures to the Present

“If you haven't failed it means that you aren't trying hard enough.”  

When he was in graduate school, Charlie Becker had a recurring nightmare.  

He was at a conference, getting ready to present his first professional paper. As he walked up to the stage, he found that it was not a dingy seminar room, but a packed auditorium at Carnegie Hall. An emcee beckoned him forward and announced, "And now, Mr. Becker will play for us on the piano!" [spoiler alert: Charlie Becker does not play the piano or any other musical instrument]. The emcee paid no mind to his panicked protests and ushered him over to the piano. Rather than admit publicly that he was completely incapable of meeting their expectations, Becker would then take the microphone and say "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to start with a small joke..."  

He planned to stall the entire time.  

“This was the core of the nightmare,” said Becker, who is a Research Professor of Economics. “I was in way over my head and could not escape.” In other words, he felt like an impostor about to fail in front of an audience.  

But in his years in academia, he’s realized that everyone has experienced failure of some sort, including — maybe even especially! — in places filled with successful people, like Duke.  

“If you haven't failed it means that you aren't trying hard enough,” Becker said.  

The reason is simple: in research and academia, as with financial assets, risk and return are positively correlated.  

But risk means different things for different people, he said. This could mean taking courses for which one is not well-prepared, taking overloads, or writing theses that turn out to be way too complex to accomplish in the time available.  

Now on the other side of things, Becker is on the admissions committee for Duke Economics. In doing so, he’s read through thousands of applications over the years. He said he tends to be suspicious of applicants who present perfect records. 

“Ninety-nine percent of the time, it’s a signal that they haven’t truly challenged themselves,” he said. “I believe in those who acknowledge but refuse to be held back by their limitations, and those who face adversity but determinedly overcome it. 

“Over time, the imposter syndrome fades away and you realize that you belong,” said Becker. “The admissions office or other generally infallible committee did not make a horrendous mistake when they let you in.”